This Tiktok video may look stupid to you, but it acts as a timestamp for when I made “learn to nurture my inner child” my priority for the very first time (it is such a privilege I have to say).
First of all, let us remind ourselves that we are extremely lucky if we were able to stay home/ stay safe while many are out there working daily to keep the society running during the Corona Time.
Honestly, I think I won’t be able to go on if I didn’t make the decision to take a sabbatical year last April. I did the right thing to dive deeper into learning about self-love and slowly getting braver to face the pain and the truth of what’s bothering me and to deal with the fears that are stopping me from growing.
So no, I was not lazy and entitled, I was indeed being too hard on myself and never either play or rest properly worrying about shit.
I was constantly in the state of thinking about being responsible and productive even when I am “being lazy”, so I ended up never getting anything done because I got too tired and then talk shit to myself (spot the vicious cycle). I realised my brain didn’t have time to think or rest all day every day because of this anxiety of not hardworking enough, so I was in limbo and it made a huge impact on my wellbeing.
So here, playing on #tiktok (thanks Jacky @amourfina) is right when I acknowledge the importance of acting like a child, to have fun without judgement and pressure and so I finally learned to have fun.
I learned that taking care of the person in me who never enjoyed her playtime, helped me move on and start adulting, which is worth any amount of money I could have made having a job last year, so there! 😝